The Uninvited Guests: A Crew’s Guide to Roasting Guest List Freeloaders (and How to Make Amends)
Every music event has them: the freeloaders who somehow snagged a spot on the guest list without being actual business associates, friends, or legitimately invited VIPs. These folks can make life miserable for the crew, band, and even the paying audience. Here's a no-holds-barred roast of these freeloaders, followed by some etiquette tips to help them blend in and actually enjoy the event without being a nuisance.
1. The Freebie Braggart
We all know this person. They waltz in, loudly announcing how they made it in for free, making those who paid feel like chumps. Newsflash: bragging about your freeloading skills doesn’t make you cool; it makes you annoying. Instead, keep your free entry on the down-low. No one likes a show-off, especially when it comes to money.
2. Merch Moochers
You didn't pay for a ticket, but now you expect free merchandise? Really? Crew and band members work hard to design and sell that merch. Do everyone a favor and actually buy something. Support the artists whose event you're crashing.
3. Bar Beggars
Expecting free drinks because you got in for free? That's a double whammy of cheap. The bar sales help fund future events and support the venue staff. Buy a drink or two. Better yet, buy one for a friend who paid for their ticket. Contributing to the bar tab shows appreciation for the hospitality you’re receiving.
4. VIP Impostors
Feeling like a VIP because you got in for free? Spoiler: you’re not. Real VIPs are invited because they add value – either as friends, family, or business associates. They also know how to act. Instead of blocking access and being a general pain, move out of the way, don’t hog the attention, and respect the space.
5. The Crew's Nightmare
You’re constantly in the way, asking for favors, and generally making the crew’s job harder. Remember, the crew is there to work, not to cater to your whims. Stay out of restricted areas, don’t ask for unnecessary favors, and respect their space.
6. Invisible Entitlement
You may feel entitled because you’re on the guest list, but the truth is, you’re there by someone’s favor. Don’t abuse it. Treat everyone – crew, band, paying guests – with respect. Your entitlement isn’t charming; it’s grating.
How to Be a Better Guest List Attendee
Now that we've roasted the freeloaders, here's how you can turn it around and be a better guest list attendee:
1. Blend In
Keep it low-key that you got in for free. No one needs to know, and it spares the paying guests from feeling bad. Enjoy the event like everyone else.
2. Support the Event
Buy merchandise. Not only does this support the band, but it also shows that you appreciate being there. Spend money at the bar. Tip generously. These small gestures go a long way in showing gratitude.
3. Act Respectfully
Don’t demand VIP treatment just because you’re on the guest list. Respect the boundaries and don’t try to sneak into restricted areas. Let the crew do their job without interference.
4. Be Appreciative
Show appreciation to the person who got you on the guest list. A simple thank you goes a long way. Don’t pester them for more freebies or special treatment.
5. Know Your Place
Differentiate yourself from the actual VIPs. They are there because they are genuinely important to the event, either through personal connections or professional relationships. Recognize that you’re there as a guest and act accordingly.
By following these tips, you can enjoy your free entry without being the freeloading nightmare everyone dreads. Be considerate, respectful, and appreciative, and you'll not only have a great time but also ensure that you’re welcome at future events.